Bill buggered a buffalo in Biloxi
With his johnson first dipped in epoxy
The bison stampeded
And for the next ox Bill needed
To backdoor his entry by proxy
Backdoor Bill #1
Sir Carl Sandbox
Sears Weatherbeater Latex on recycled Spandex—artist unknown
Carbon dating of the Spandex portrait proved inconclusive as the
dating service was forced to close when health department officials found date packages that were not properly refrigerated.
"The material in question could be from the waistcoat of Sir Carl," explained National Science Foundation date and fig expert, Shemp Howard. "But more likely it's a remnant of a Clemson cheerleader's tights."
Triple-x calibur
The legendary quill with which Sir Carl stroked his greatest works. Said to have been pulled from a US Congressman's ass in an airport pay toilet.On permanent exhibition at the Musée du Louvre—Riker's Island branch.